Friendships That Heal vs. Friendships That Steal & How To Tell The Difference

Life is tough, and having a friend to walk the journey with you, can make it easier or harder.

Something to take into account is that friends come in many different varieties and types.

There are the fun ones that you go on adventures with.

The kind ones who comfort your heart and refresh your soul.

The servant hearted ones that show up during your great, and small times of need.

The generous ones whose cheerful giving, and ability to share without expecting anything in return, knows no bounds.

The life giving ones who leave you filled with hope, and who inspire you towards humility.

The faithful ones who quickly forgive, and ask for it just as quickly so that the fellowship is not broken for long.

In many instances, you will have been the recipient of friends who embodied multiple, if not all of those traits, showing up to bless you in the different seasons of life that they were needed most in.

And then there are the other types of friend.

Yeah, you know the ones.

The ones you should literally run from.

Ok, maybe not run from, but at least really limit your time with.

The self-centered ones who make everything all about themselves, leaving you feeling unimportant, invisible and sometimes unwelcomed.

The greedy ones who take way more than they give back, leaving you worn out and empty.

The people pleasing, flattering ones who won’t risk being honest with you due to their own fear of confrontation, or fear of loss of their reputation.

The wayward ones, whose lifestyle, worldviews and thought patterns don’t align with yours, therefore, taking you down the wrong path because of it.

I’ve had many friends in my life, but I will tell you that the growth, joy and freedom that I am experiencing in my life today, is mainly accredited to the friends that were not willing to let me stay blinded by my own sin.

I have been greatly blessed by the fun, kind, servant-hearted, generous, life-giving and faithful friends that were honest with me about areas in my life that needed attention or repentance.

Their honest words were steeped in loving care, and though sometimes painful to hear or clumsily given, were always a blessing to me when I chose to receive them with humility.

What I’ve come to realize is that those friends are a true treasure that create wealth in the life of a Christian woman, wife and mother, but only if she is willing to be humbled.

Those types of friends are rare jewels that wisely protect themselves from the self-centered, greedy, people pleasing and wayward flatterers.

Those good types of friends keep their eyes heaven focused because they see their families as too precious and their time too limited to wander off of the path of growth.

I’m not a medical professional, so I absolutely would never advise you to not see a doctor or therapist if you felt that you should, but I would absolutely encourage you to do 2 things first.

1. Take an inventory of your friendships.

2. Ask the Lord to show you which ones point you to the cross of Christ, and which ones lead you away from it.

If I’m honest, I know that throughout my life, I have been the bad type of friend.

This is why I am so grateful for God’s grace in my life through rich friendships.

Those friendships have helped me to become a woman that now attracts and hopefully reflects the attributes of a good friend.

We are all in need of healing from past wounds, but whether they were caused by childhood trauma, hurtful words or poor decisions…there is nothing that can’t be healed by God through a scripture reading, truth telling sister-in-Christ who is willing to prayerfully walk along side you as you heal.

Just for today, thank the Lord for his loving kindness towards you through the gift of good friends, and let those friends know what a treasure they are to you.

For His Glory & In His Name,

- Christine